Turtles by John Barrett

INT. AQUARIUM – DAY.

SCOTT, 23, is standing at the edge of the sea turtle tank, with a rock in hand.

SCOTT

Hey, Sean!

SEAN, 22, turns toward Scott.

SEAN

What, what is it?

SCOTT

Watch me hit this turtle in the head with a rock.

SEAN

Scott, don’t be a d…

Scott winds up and hits the turtle square in the head with a resounding CLUNK.

The TURTLE glides under the water.

Sean looks at Scott angrily. As he speaks, his voice gets incredibly high pitched, the words stream out faster and faster, and he waves his arms crazily.

SEAN

Man, how could you do such a horrible thing to that animal?

SCOTT

It’s a dumb turtle. What does it matter?

SEAN

It’s endangered first of all.

SCOTT

No it isn’t.

SEAN

Yes it is!

SCOTT

No, it’s swimming around in a nice, comfortable aquarium tank.

Sean stares angrily at Scott, but Scott doesn’t get it.

SEAN

Let’s just go home.

INT. TURTLE TANK – MOMENTS LATER

The turtles have all surrounded the turtle who got hit. He appears to be their leader.

He stands, points at the rock, then points to the outside of the tank.

The other turtles follow the leader turtle towards the side of the tank. They form lines, and run into the glass repeatedly until it finally breaks, releasing water and all of the turtles into the aquarium.

The turtles get up on their rear fins and begin to walk like humans, but very slowly. They pass the shark tank. One of the turtles makes a little turtle fist, and shakes it at the sharks in a threatening manner. The sharks cower in fear.

EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT

The turtles walk very slowly down the street. The moon passes through the sky as night turns to day then back to night.

The Turtles are swarming. They approach a group of humans standing in line at a trendy nightclub (GYPSY BAR?). All of the men are dressed in the same button-down shirt, jeans, and dressy shoes. The women are all decked out in their slut-gear. Trashy is the best word.

The turtles slowly come closer and start crawling up people’s legs to their necks, and bite their jugular veins.

GYPSY BAR PATRON

(As a turtle climbs up his body)

Screw this, I ain’t getting out of line!

The turtle bites him on the jugular. The rest of the patrons are killed in a similar manner.

When all of the gypsy bar patrons are killed, the leader turtle again rises to his feet, motions with his flipper for the other turtles to follow him, and marches slowly onward.

As the turtles walk slowly down the street, a HARE runs very quickly past them.

Fade Out

Fade In

EXT. CITY STREET – LATER

People are running around in a panic. Some have turtles latched onto their necks. The turtles have blocked all the routes out of the street, so if the humans try to escape (as so many do) they are bitten and killed.

A SWAT team arrives to take on the turtle menace. They begin firing their automatic weapons at the turtles, but they manage you use their shells as shields to protect them from the bullets.

One turtle picks up his fellow turtle, and throws him like a captain America shield.

The whole of the carnage takes place at a remarkably fast pace compared to the turtle’s walking pace.

PAN OUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – LATER

The television screen is displaying the carnage just seen from a wide angle.

Sean sits on the couch watching the news.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)

We are now getting word that three hundred people are now laying in the

(MORE)

ANNOUNCER (CONT’D)

streets of Boston, dead, very dead. Apparently…uh…they were bitten by turtles. Is that right? Turtles?

Can they do that?

Sean turns off the T.V. with a look of absolute horror on his face.

INT. HALLWAY – SAME

The turtles walk down the Hall to very badass music. Their faces and flippers are coated in blood, and they move as though being shot in slow motion. That is, of course, until the illusion is ruined by a person walking at normal speed who passes them. He, however, is brutally killed by the turtles.

INT. APARTMENT – SAME

There is a KNOCK at the DOOR.

Sean opens the door to see a large group of turtles at the door. He and the leader turtle stare at each other for a moment. Sean doesn’t need to be told who they’ve come for so he simply turns around.

SEAN

It’s for you.

SCOTT

Man!

Scott goes to the door.

SCOTT (CONT’D)

What do you…Holy crap!

TURTLE

Yeah! You threw a rock at me, and you need to be punished for what you did. I mean that was really…uncool man.

SCOTT

Wait, you’re a turtle…

TURTLE

Yes, and I can talk. Now, about this morning’s rock throwing.

SCOTT

Oh yeah, sorry about that. I was just being kind of a jerk.

TURTLE

And you will apologi… Wait, what?

SCOTT

Sorry.

TURTLE

Oh, well…um…I guess that’s all I really needed. Um…come on guys, let’s go back.

Sean gets up.

SEAN

Wait, you guys kill hundreds of people, and now you just get an apology and that’s it?

TURTLE

Yeah, pretty much. Oh right…sorry about that. Yeah, that was lame.

SEAN

Yeah!

SCOTT

Don’t worry about it.

Sean looks upset at that, but not surprised.

TURTLE

Anyway, thanks for being so understanding. Just, you know, don’t let it happen again.

SCOTT

Sure. Bye guys.

TURTLE

Bye!

The turtles leave.

Fade Out

Fade In

EXT. NYC – DAY

Scott has a rock in his hand. Sean is standing next to him.

SCOTT

Hey Sean, watch me hit King Kong with this rock!

FADE TO BLACK